I am a social worker and parent in Australia concerned about the western practice of a method called 'controlled crying' that is used on infants to get them to sleep. This blog talks about the use of this method and other parenting methods. Search all the information on this site to be better informed about the practice of controlled crying. For any comments or questions, my email is

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Trust in Yourself!

The best advice I can give to anyone reading this blog, is to simply trust in yourself. If you truly feel happy when your baby drifts off to sleep in your arms then there is nothing to worry about. If you truly feel happy and elated while you listen to your baby cry to sleep, then obviously you have made the right choice for you. However, I would be suprised if you truly felt joyous when you heard your baby cry. No-one I know of feels deeply happy to hear their baby crying and upset, and I would worry about them if they did. This is obviously a simplistic way of viewing things, but it is the best way to judge your experience of life. If it feels good, then do it, but if it doesn't make you feel good, you need to seriously and deeply consider WHY, and change your actions.

You are the one who knows your baby best, you are the one who knows what feels right to do for them. After those first few weeks of getting to know their cries and expressions and ways of communicating, you know deep down how to respond to your baby. Trust in yourself and have confidence that what you feel in your gut as the best thing to do, is what you need to do. If you truly feel good helping your baby to sleep by rocking or feeding or in any other creative and gentle way, then this is the only choice to make.

If you are still not sure how you feel about how to settle your baby, read this blog and try to gauge how you feel after reading the articles. Go online and read articles that support controlled crying. Use your head but also tune into your feelings. Imagine yourself in your babies shoes. Imagine the experience of leaving your baby to cry. How do you feel? This will hopefully help you decide how to make your decision. In the words of the famous poet SriChinmoy;

Be happy, be happy!
Unless you are happy,
Your outer life will not succeed
And your inner life will not proceed.

Be happy, love your baby, live with confidence and trust in yourself. Know that you are doing all you can to be the best parent you can.

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